mercredi 20 juin 2012

This Monday was a hard day. At 9:30 am, my alarm went of—15 minutes after I normally have to leave my apartment to get to work on time. A frantic morning shook up my whole day, and even 4 cups of coffee didn’t help me perk back up to normal. It also just so happened that the iBook I had created and completed on Friday didn’t work when I showed it to my boss upon arriving to work yesterday morning. And, because I was so tired, I was having trouble finding the words in French to explain why it wasn’t working.

Rough.

Let’s hope that my extra short lunch break and staying at work late that evening showed my boss that I actually am responsible and hardworking.

But Tuesday was a new day! Getting up extra early gave my mind and body plenty of time to wake up before headed out. However, the day almost took a turn for the worst when I slipped on the sidewalk and on the way down, grabbed the arm of some Frenchman. He was frazzled. But I laughed. And the day was salvaged.

Overall, this past week has been harder for me. I have found myself feeling very incompetent. It’s much more of a challenge than I had expected—being able to express myself accurately while surrounded by people who have grown up in a different culture and speaking a different language than me. I can know the vocabulary, but that doesn’t necessarily allow real Jennifer shine through. That’s a different story.

Although it's sometimes tough, I am grateful, because this is the cultural experience that I had hoped to have this summer. What is more, I am intimately known and loved by the God who made me. I’m trying to repeat that to myself throughout my day.

In other news, I made a Swiss friend named Yvonne this weekend. And I had lots of fun with my friends over the weekend.

Here’s an Eiffel Tower picture: you’ve gotta appreciate the selfie. Everyone’s doing it.

On the way to work today, I listened to Revelation Song by Kari Jobe.

Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty. With all creation I sing praise to the King of Kings. Filled with wonder at the mention of Your Name. Jesus Your Name is Power, breath and living water, such a marvelous mystery.

            O, how it would it change my outlook on life if I began to praise God for who HE IS, not for what he can give me. Praise Him for being Holy, Lord Almighty, gracious, patient and worthy of praise. Peace, forgiveness, and joy, are all things that God allow me to experience as a result of His love. But am I only in this whole Christian thing to get joy in life? To feel “happy”? Happiness by itself on this earth is not lasting.

Instead I am to praise the Lord not only of my life for who HE is, regardless of what He gives me or doesn't give me. 

He owes me nothing. He IS. 

From Milton Vincent’s A Gospel Primer:

The gospel is not simply the story of “Christ and Him crucified”; it is also the story of my own crucifixion….My old self was slain there, and my love affair with the world was crucified there too.

When my flesh yearns for some prohibited thing, I must die.

When called to do something I don’t want to do, I must die.

When I wish to be selfish and serve no one, I must die.

When shattered by hardships that I despise, I must die.

When wanting to cling to wrongs done against me, I must die.

When enticed by allurements of the world, I must die.

When dreams that are good seemed shoved aside, I must die.

‘Not my will, but Yours be done,’ Christ trustingly prayed on the eve of His crucifixion. 

Is this real life?